Sitting and Thinking

It’s a cloudy day and I’m sitting, yet again, thinking about my life and the wonders and worries of my world. It seems to follow the same cycle of ups and downs and no matter what I cannot stop it. To go from understanding my faith to being completely disgusted at the fact that I even exist. For some reason, all the things I want to say I just can’t…but I can write it. The only reason I share this with everyone is hopefully it can help others. Everything I do in my life is not for me. I would help my worst enemy no matter how I felt, but something I think I am finally starting to understand about my life is something we are always told but never seem to truly grasp: We cannot walk this world alone.

What does that mean to you? Have you ever tried to walk life alone? Where has it gotten you? Cold and lonely? Sure, maybe sometimes things work out, but at the first sign of a storm we become scared and start asking for help. This world has lost touch and I’m just as guilty of it. I’m scared to show I have faith and believe in my Savior because of the way people think and the way the world is. I wish I could be open about how I am and I’m working towards that but, you know, I’ve learned a lot in the past few months of my life – more than the last 18 years of it.

Think about this and envision the words: One day your walking down that path you have always traveled, the one that isn’t too rough but it has its patches, and you come to a fork in the road. On the left there’s a bright and sunny path that is the most inviting, level and smooth-paved road that feels good and on the right there is a treacherous path with storms and lighting and looks scary and very unappealing. Which will you choose? Most would choose the left because it’s easier and is the most inviting; I would choose that path as well, but now think about this: What if that path is not the path we are destined to take? That path on the left means you don’t need to rely on anyone but yourself and can travel alone and be safe, but at the end of that path is conformity and sin. However, the other path, which is the scariest and most dangerous, can have the biggest reward – eternal life! I’ve constantly seen this road before me, with storms and cliffs and danger, and I turn away every time because I’m scared to travel it and because I feel alone. But this is the path that we can become the most humble of beings, admitting that we need God and we need someone to walk with us because that’s how we were made.

In the sand, you may only see one set of foot prints, but that is because it is God carrying you…not you carrying yourself.

So many times, we take on the burdens of life all by ourselves, even though we are told we don’t have to. No matter how many times, it never fails; we all hit a breaking point in our lives…some harder than others. For those who believe that God doesn’t need to show us He exists because it’s something you can just feel – when your’re at your weakest and no one is left, who do you turn to? It can be scary to think you are not alone and that one day we will all have to pay for our sins, but wait – didn’t Jesus do that for us? The cross, God, the Church, family, love, and even children have seemed to have lost their meaning to some. Look at the world today…how many people, scratch that, how many Christians do you see that wear a cross around their neck as a decoration or as jewelry instead of a statement that says “I BELIEVE”? How come we’re not allowed to speak of God in public places? How come we can’t tell family and friends that we want to go to church? Or maybe we don’t care at all and it means nothing to us other than a place to find girls or guys and hang with friends. How about families and love? People used to get married because they loved each other, not just because they had sex or got pregnant. What happened to families who, no matter how hard things got, they stayed together and worked out their problems instead of fleeing at the first sign of unstable ground. Then there’s children whose lives, no matter how young or old, used to mean something. They were a precious gift from God and not a burden or a nuisance. What happened to us? I’m guilty of it too. I’m human and I admit it. So many people want the perfect relationship, the perfect life, but no one wants to work for it. I want so much, and yet when push comes to shove, I get scared and run back to the easier path. If you just follow what God has in plan for you, your life will be perfect. That’s not to say it won’t be hard. He knows we will fall but it’s what you do when you fall that matters. Are you just gonna stay down, or are you gonna let Him pick you back up?

For anyone that actually reads all of this, please know that He is there for you. Don’t cast away everything for the world, for it has nothing to offer but heartbreak and pain and loneliness. Sometimes it’s better to take the road less traveled because it brings out your true feelings.

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